We suggest a five-point plan if you are contemplating getting back with your ex.
Apparently, it’s make-up season after breakups galore at least for the celebrities. Jenna Dewan and Channing Tatum have been spending time together after ending their nine-year-old marriage only because of their daughter. It seems as though they can give their marriage another chance. Then there is our favorite celebrity couple – Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid who are back together in less than what…two months since they broke up? Couples generally call it quits when things stop working their way and slowly, they lose all hope.
Even though getting back with your ex seems like a tempting proposition, don’t rush in. Married couples often get back together because there is still the attraction and the connection, history and shared memories, and sometimes even children are involved. Here are five tips to keep in mind before you reunite with your ex:
1. Go Slow
Being without each other for a couple of months isn’t enough to consider getting back with them. Emotions will be running high and wild while the wounds are still fresh. It is crucial to give each other time to cope up with everything and heal. Take some time off to evaluate your relationship before considering reuniting with your spouse. Work on how you can be a better partner to make sure this doesn’t happen again.
2. List Out Issues
Instead of screaming your lungs out and hurling abuses, be mature and pen down the reasons why you are in this state. Talk it out with your partner in a manner that is not hurtful and refrain from playing the blame game. Find out ways of dealing with all the mess and most importantly, how to make peace with it.
3. Rediscover the Magic of Dating
Don’t dive back into the relationship as soon as the opportunity presents itself. Ensure you don’t make the same mistakes or get back to old habits. Take a fresh start, go on dates, rediscover romance, make your spouse feel special, show them you care – put in the effort to make your spouse realize what you two have.
4. Commitment is the Foundation of Relationships
Making a commitment after ironing out your issues is easy but sticking to your commitments isn’t. However, if you decide to reunite with your ex, make sure you are stable and committed towards this relationship especially if you have children together. Steer clear from cheap games that involve your children. Work on yourself to make the relationship work.
5. Art of Forgiving and Healing
It is important that your ex understands that earning your forgiveness is all that they needed to do and they can continue with this behavior. Your spouse should know you are willing to give this another shot because they value you and are ready to let bygones be bygones. Start afresh and take help of an individual or marriage counselor.
Still not sure about giving your cheating spouse another chance?
- Make sure that your spouse understands this was a mistake of a lifetime and you will not continue to ignore or forgive repeatedly.
- Ensure they understand that your willingness and forgiveness should not be taken for granted and it definitely doesn’t mean that you condone this type of behavior.
A few points to ponder over before you take the final decision:
- Did your spouse have a cheating history?
- Does your spouse understand how they made you feel and the hurt they caused?
- Has your spouse owned up to their mistake?
- Did your spouse genuinely apologize?
- Does your spouse want to make things right?
- Is your spouse truly regretting the mistake(s)?
- Is your spouse willing to see an individual or a marriage counselor?
- Does your spouse regret being unfaithful?
- Is your spouse willing to change?
- Does your spouse understand there will be consequences?
- Is your spouse willing to give you time to cope up and heal?
- Has your partner ended all ties with the other person involved?
- Do you both think you can still have a joyful, lasting and a happy relationship?
- Is your marriage really worth saving?
- Can you truly forgive your spouse?
- Will you both be able to address your issues and work on your relationship in a constructive manner?
Discuss this list openly. Hammer out your differences clearly and calmly because brushing critical issues under the carpet is going to be disastrous.
Related Article: Your Guide to Having a Happy Relationship.